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Extraterrestrial Produce? We Eat It All The Time!

Originally posted on August 1, 2012 @ 9:13 PM

Extraterrestrial Fruits & Vegetables? Say What?


Extraterrestrial or terrestrial? Image credit: Wikimedia Commons

Extraterrestrial produce–the natural consequence of various extraterrestrials /extradimensionsals (ETs/EDs) coming here ages ago and making their mark as settlers. And as settlers do, each extraterrestrial group brought with it the produce of the home world. And what produce it is! While there is no way to prove this via DNA testing, absent reference samples from each contributing home world, this post is based on interviews with no less than three separate parts of the Liberation Forces. Hold on to your hats, for when done with this post, you'll never again view your fruits and vegetables the same way!

Extraterrestrial Produce Vs. Earth & The Sun

There is both good news and bad news here. According to one source, the profusion of Earth plants possess “a strain of hardiness not normally found.” This is the direct result of the specific frequencies emitted by our Sun and the effects of gravity. The bad news? “Fruits and vegetables mutated considerably due to gravity and light from the Sun;” in the process they “lost their original charm and became something wholly new.”  This explains the repeatedly encountered expressions of joy and dismay among some of the exceedingly well traveled members of the Liberation Forces. There is joy that extraterrestrial origin produce is here and dismay that it simply does not “taste the way it should” to them. Small wonder, considering Earth is an extreme environment for both ETs/EDs and their extraterrestrial produce. You have to be tough to survive! Evidently, growth environments are far more benign elsewhere.

Extraterrestrial Produce–Who Gave Us What?

Those of you who love Greece may be blown away to know that the Greeks themselves hail, by descent, from Antares. The Antarans brought with them so many extraterrestrial goodies we  normally associate with Greece, to include the classical Greek appearance. Figs are quintessentially Greek, thus Antaran. Where would we be without delicious figs sun dried on a string? Anyone prepared to do without olives, and that basis for the whole Mediterranean civilization, not to mention heart-smart modern Mediterranean cooking, olive oil? Who here is willing to never eat eggplant again, in any form? Who is willing to give up souvlaki, fried eggplant or eggplant Parmesan, not to mention all the Spanish dishes and the wonders produced by the French with the aubergine? Thought so? Like dragon fruit? Also Antaran!

How many cooks and chefs, for that matter teens, can rationally contemplate a world without potatoes? The mind boggles at the thought.  Yet the potato came to us from 34,000 light-years away, courtesy of some world in the Pegasus constellation. It got its western terrestrial start in Ireland,  the writer has been informed, but it did not originate there. The spud came to Ireland from South America. It is most assuredly extraterrestrial before that.

The so-called vegetable, that is technically a fruit, the avocado is extraterrestrial and hails from a region long associated with extraterrestrial matters, the Pleiades. Where would we be without the avocado, be it in sandwiches, splendid omelets with crab, black olives and sour cream, dips or that must have so hard to come by on the East Coast here, guacamole? A world without the avocado? Perish the thought. This extraterrestrial is NOT going home!

The Aldebarans settled Germany, but the produce details are sparse. Since cabbage is one of the traditional German essentials, this seems to be an excellent candidate for extraterrestrial origin. Rye bread is distinctly German, so there is another. Rye bread, for that matter sauerkraut,  sans caraway seed does not make much sense, which may give us a third extraterrestrial origin candidate. You see where this is going, right? Hops. No beer, at least as we know it, without hops!

Tau Ceti is the last stop in our tour of our familiar, yet extraterrestrial, produce. And where did the Tau Cetians land? In the Slavic regions, especially Russia. The writer therefore suspects the turnip and rutabaga are originally extraterrestrial and deems the traditionally Russian beet a virtual slam dunk, but has no direct confirmation. What is certain is that at least one variety of peach is extraterrestrial, as is the universally lamented in its absence by anyone in the Liberation Forces who has ever tasted the real deal, the strawberry. Apparently our best are good, but pale into nothingness compared with the original! As tasty as ours are, can you imagine what the extraterrestrial original must be like? Anyone having a Pavlovian response?!












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8 years ago

I thought that God created the earth and people, animals and plants… This article is quite silly! Cabbage is not “German”, neither is potato Irish food, it is central European. Most delicious natural strawberries and bluberries and many other berries grow all over central Europe, so don’t label it nationalistically.

8 years ago

I have been told that ‘avocado’ in the vernacular means testicle. So have any Pleiadean testicles been abused for the benefit of our consumption? Do Pleiadean guys have testicles? If not, I think I might know what’s happened to them 🙂 You should mention bananas. They reproduce by suckers and yet are found in disparate places. To Jeanne, No cheesecake ice cream but in addition to the flavours already mentioned, they had peanut butter, tiramisu, rum raisin (yup, the raisins had definitely had intimate knowledge of rum), banana, raspberry, blueberry, pineapple, coconut, mango, pear, green apple, passion fruit, cassis, banana… Read more »

Dylan Hughes
8 years ago

i make lovely strawberries out our allotment ! they tatse very special !! i dont buy from anywhere else cos they are a joke elsewhere !! ha ha mine taste nicey !! : )) extraterrasty !!

Red Dragon
Red Dragon
8 years ago

It does not surprise me much because earth was a water world with no life at the beginning and is very young still. So humans, fauna and flora must’ve been brought here.

8 years ago

The fruit I’d like to know about is the highly polarizing durian. People either hate it and find it disgusting or are rabidly ecstatic over it. It is found all over SE Asia (Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia). I personally find it most enjoyable.

Reply to  John Kettler
8 years ago

When I was young, a relative told me that durians were Buddha’s poo – that put me off durians for quite a few years!
It’s disgraceful what old women tell infants 🙁

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